Before getting into university, A lot of us have heard the phrase “University is the place you will be making life long friendships” and it’s not like the people who use this exceptionally promising line have never witnessed it themselves, These guys talk from experience, They walk the talk, with pictures and hangouts that date from their university time till date and forevermore. This little thought of meeting “People whom you could share a lifetime with” excites you and gives you, yet another reason to look forward to university.
So, as university begins, naturally, you have a lot of feelings rushing through you, meeting some of your old friends who got into the same place and mostly, making new ones. You start looking for your new friends right away, you’re nice to everyone around you and you can’t wait to just find that “Click”, Eventually time passes and you meet someone you definitely click with, You won’t even realize they’re the one until like….five days. Most probably this so called ‘Constant’ and you will either 1) Comment on something and agree to it 2) Laugh at the same thing 3)Find some other stupid thing in common. Soon, you start sitting together in the classes that you have in common, then you start saving seats, then a couple more people hop on board and join this booming friendship, and then comes the best part, You guys *Wait for it* start hanging out in the break- All in the matter of a month.
Jis taiezie ke sath aapki dosti barhti hai, ussi shidat ke saath aap logo ki snapchat stories ki timings aur aik doosray ki social media par appearances bhiii bhartay hain. Birthdays per surprises ka level up hota rehta hai and let’s not even get started on the study sessions. Everything seems perfect, you start thinking of all the cool movies you saw with amazing group of friends and start relating your life to all of them, only…better.
But “All good…or not so good things must come to an end” and all of a sudden there’s that one fight, argument or disagreement after which things get a bit awkward. After the first one, you guys will make up. But just when things are about to cool down there will be that one hellbound person who will come up and say “Chill karo, you guysssssssss” and its something about the way they say this line, suntay hi ooper se le kar neechay tak aaag lag jaati hai. And deeeeeeep down you probably know this was the kind of person you wish you never met.
Even after what seems like things being normalized, the real shit starts after it cools down. Some people, no matter how much they claim to be “over it”..Are NOT over it. And in one of the subsect of the group someone sparks the fire and brings up the topic “I am glad things worked out but, usko nai karna chahyei tha” and the rest is history. One thing leads to another, add in a couple more of disagreements, a little bit of this, a little bit of that and sooner or later you would start distancing yourself and hanging out with other people, bit by bit, making excuses to plans, that once so active whatsApp group will seem to go lower or lower on your chat list unless that one loser whom you still don’t remember adding to the group sends a random meme and sympathy me kuch loog “Hahaha” ya “Lol” likhdetay hain.
University break arrives, some of the members end up meeting others don’t and once university reopens, All you pass each other are random smiles and waves, you have conversations once in a while but that’s the end of it. By the time a few years pass, You can’t even believe you guys were once friends.
So why does this happen, be it a group of friends or two friends or what not? It’s because we often become so attracted to the IDEA of the “university friends last forever” that we tend to jump into the idea in our head right away, ignoring reality. It is similar to the ‘Honeymoon effect’ right when you start out, things seem perfect but when reality kicks in and your true selves come out, the compatibility is often wayyyyyy off. Initially when you enter university, you want to come off as picture perfect most of the times and so everyone is at their best but there is only so long one can keep that up for, with times, your mindset and preferences both change in different ways and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Chances are this has happened to you OR to people around you, you may see people who once used to hangout together as if their bodies were stitched together but don’t anymore. You might even get curious and ask around as to what happened, and you’ll get to listen to various sides of exaggerated stories by people who have nothing better to do or either of the parties, but sadly you may never find out the REAL truth about what happened, be it if it did after a semester a year or more.
We can put it down in a million different ways but the fact of the matter is simple, Sometimes when people grow, They grow apart and as you grow apart, you also move forward, to a more happier you, to a better you, a more YOU, you (if that makes any sense). One class at a time, one semester closer.